current location: The Cell
current mood: distressed
current song: La Caution's "Thé à la Menthe"
I hate the fact that I have good days and bad days (well, naturally, I hate the fact that I'm mentally ill and my every single waking thought is occupied by one particular dreadful thought process in the first place), but what I really find frustrating is that there are days when I literally just want to chainsaw open my own head and remove my brain so it can't bother me anymore. There are days I don't mind so much, when I feel I can actually do something productive, and even manage to hold down a conversation or do the 101 things I'd been pretending to do at work for the last two weeks, and then there are days like today when, if I came across the Death Note lying in the street, I'd just start cramming in pages from the telephone directory. I don't see how anyone can possibly live like this, although I'm aware that there are people that do, and would probably laugh at me for not being able to cope with forty days of this so far, let alone forty years.
Now I'm going to eat pie.