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Spike [userpic]

September 17th, 2008 (07:14 pm)
worried

current location: The Cell
current mood: worried
current song: Nothing

For the last two days, I've been coming to the conclusion that I'm actually, honestly, losing my mind.  It's like whatever part of the brain controls revulsion has been working on overdrive, and I keep thinking of horrible things all the time.  Rape, murder, bestiality, other...nasty things...it's like I'm staring at 4chan's /b/ 24-7.  It's not a compulsion to do any of those things, indeed it's the exact opposite: revulsion at them when there's really no reason to think of them at all.  The only explanation I can think of is that similar to getting a song stuck in your head, but instead of a song, it's the very worst of humanity.

Everyone I've told this to seems to think it's hilarious, but it's not, it's slightly terrifying and there are times when I just want to take an ice-pick and Trotsky myself.

It could just be anxiety screwing with me, but I'm actually very worried that I might have some kind of neurological disorder.  This, of course, isn't helping the anxiety thing.

Comments

Posted by: GlassShard (goodbyebartleby)
Posted at: September 17th, 2008 08:56 pm (UTC)
Zombie

Maybe you should see a therapist. Or drink heavily.

:(

Posted by: Spike (razikain)
Posted at: September 17th, 2008 09:00 pm (UTC)

It's probably about time I started seeing a therapist. I've spent the last few years drawing up a wish list of things I want them to fix.

Posted by: Helmholz (helmholz)
Posted at: September 18th, 2008 10:00 pm (UTC)

Truthfully, I've been feeling this way for some time too. I really think that I spend too much time on the internet and not enough time being a normal person, and that's why I get these feelings and I want to just unleash this pent-up rage and whatnot but don't really know how.

Spend a lot of time with people you enjoy spending time with is my best advice.

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